Thursday, February 02, 2006
This Woman Is Completely In My Power
I was greatly moved by the support from my kitty friends, who sent me messages following the Late Meals Outrage I suffered last weekend. I do appreciate your kind wishes. My relationship with my human servants was strained for several days, but we have now agreed to call a truce, after my female human plied me with diet-busting treats in her pathetic need to regain my love and affection. She has promised to try harder to be punctual with meals in future, so I have agreed to Say No More About It for the present.
My kitty friends would have enjoyed a little episode in my house last night. Picture the scene: My mum is standing in the living room ironing. My dad is relaxing on the sofa. I stroll into the room, having just enjoyed a sustaining snack in the kitchen...
ME: Mow. Miaow. (Sit down woman, I wish to sit on your lap).
HER: Hello, Eric.
ME: Mia-ow. Mia-ow. (Did you not hear me? I need your lap!)
HIM: What does FatBoy want?
HER: I think he wants the sofa and you're sitting on it.
ME, SITTING UNDER THE IRONING BOARD ON HER FEET: Miaow! Mow! Miaow!! (The sofa would be nice but I'm more in the mood for a lap right now!)
HIM: I'm not sitting on the floor just so that he can have the sofa.
HER: Why don't you sit on John's lap, Eric?
HIM: He never sits on my lap, he likes sitting on you.
ME: Mow! Mow! (Yes! Now you're getting the idea!)
HER: Go and sit on John's lap, Eric.
ME: Miaowwwww! (No you stupid woman, I want to sit on YOURS!)
HER: You can't have my lap right now, Eric, I'm doing the ironing.
(FIVE MINUTES LATER, AFTER I HAVE MADE MY POINT LOUDLY SEVERAL MORE TIMES...)
HIM: Oh, for heaven's sake...look, I'll finish the ironing, you sit down and get that cat to shut up.
HER: OK. (She sits down on the sofa, I immediately jump on her and make myself comfortable).
ME: Purr, purr, purr, PURR...
HER: Are you happy now, Eric?
ME: PURR, PURR, purr, purr, drool, drool, purr, drool, drool, snore, SNORE, SNORE...
(They are completely in my power).
I think you need to post a translation for your meows like Patch's did. But you did pretty good. Just keep meowing until you get what you want.
Are you sure that you and the woman aren't ganging up in order to get the man to do the ironing??? Inquiring minds want to know. (Okay, Mom wants to know, so she and I can work this magic skill on Dad...)