Neko

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

 

Are you a Gorgeous Ginger?

Thanks all for the sympathy over my diet. This morning I was so hungry that I jumped on the bed half an hour before the humans' alarm clocks went off and started chewing my dad's hair. Maybe if I keep up this treatment every morning his resistance will crack.

I have started a new page - just a small one, for fun. I decided that the Tuxedo Gang have been having things all their own way for long enough. OK, so black and white looks smart, but really, what could be more gorgeous than a lovely ginger kitty glowing in the sunlight? So I bring you...

The Gorgeous Gingers

(I didn't want to call it the Ginger Gang in case those tuxedo kitties thought we were trying to copy them). If you are one of my ginger brethren, go and visit the page and you can have your link added to it. I won't be blogging on that page, it's just a place to link to all us ginger kitties, and we can make a page full of all those handsome ginger faces! My mum says she might design a membership button we can add to our blogs. Looking forward to hearing from my orange brethren...

Monday, February 27, 2006

 

I'm Still Cuddly, Dad's In Trouble

I've been chatting lately with some of my cat-blogging friends about the challenges of being a Particularly Cuddly Cat. (Yes, I call it Cuddly, the v-e-t calls it Obese, my mum calls it Fat). Humans are very contrary - one minute they're cooing over how lovely it is to cuddle a plump furry cat, next minute they're frowning over the scales and mentioning the D-word (you know, D-I-E-T).

My name may be Fat Eric, but I prefer to think of myself as a cat of generous proportions. I've been that way for a long time. In fact, I was fatter when my mum and dad adopted me than I am now. The lovely ladies who looked after me in the cat sanctuary told my mum, "That cat looks like he's swallowed a rugby ball - or maybe he's just swallowed another cat." My mum may not think I've lost enough weight in the last few years, but she has to admit my silhouette is a little more streamlined than it used to be. (I have photos to prove it).

Anyway, for the last two years my food intake has been cut down and down, and I have this special diet food from the v-e-t. My mum is pretty strict with me, but I have stayed large and cuddly, mainly because I don't burn off the calories due to my extremely relaxed lifestyle. Hey, I can still get upstairs and jump in bed with my mum and dad, it's not like I'm one of those super-fat cats you see on TV who can't even walk. Still, I know my mum is doing it for my own good - she doesn't want me to get diabetes or one of those other fat-cat illnesses.

I know some of my cat-blogging friends have suffered from diet-pushing mums too - Shaggy has been put on a diet, and so have Edsel, Sophia, Max and Smeagol. How we all envy those lithe, skinny kitties who can eat anything and not put on a pound.

OK. I have a little confession. I wasn't going to confess this, but my mum is standing over me looking stern. She is not happy with me or my dad today. You see, my dad is a lovely person but he is kind of vague. He is always forgetting stuff. One of the things he forgets is how much food I am supposed to have for my diet. Lately my mum's been very busy and quite often it's been my dad who has been giving me my breakfast or dinner. And - heh, heh - he gives me more food than my mum does! Plus, I am only allowed two kitty treats a day, but dad gives me five or six at a time! But now mum has rumbled us. She came home last night and looked in my bowl and asked my dad how much food he gave me (because there was still loads left in my bowl). Then she looked at me and I was guiltily licking my lips after pigging out on treats.
Now dad has promised only to give me the same food that mum does, so my days of sneaking extra food are over. Maybe I really will start losing weight now...

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

 

A Day For Snuggling With Those You Love

Outside in our garden we have snowdrops and crocuses, so I thought that Spring was coming. But now it has gone all cold again. And not just cold, but cold, wet and windy. Brrr... I woke up this morning and it felt cold to me, even though I have a very thick furry coat. I thought my humans might need some extra snuggling today, because they don't have fur coats to keep them warm. So when I went upstairs to wake them up this morning, instead of just jumping on the bed, I decided to crawl under the duvet and share all my furry warmth with them. I'm not sure my dad totally appreciated it (he muttered something about "two's company, three's a crowd") but my mum was happy to snuggle with me. The only trouble was, we got so snuggly and warm that she dozed off again and overslept, then she had to rush to work to get there on time!

When my mum got home again, she was all cold and tired. She was cold because she had just been to walk the senile woofie from down the road, and the senile woofie walks really slowly, and the cold wind was whistling through my mum's coat. And she was tired because the small humans she teaches had worn her right out. She was so tired she fell asleep on the sofa, so I did my kitty duty and climbed right aboard for a lovely warm snuggle. This is how my dad found us when he got home.
It is still cold so my mum and I will be mostly spending the evening snuggling in front of the radiator and the TV. Hope you all have someone to snuggle with while it's cold!
By the way, I'm trying to think up a bit more kitty haiku, because all the blogging kitties seem to be such great poets! I just found one that Cosmo wrote about me!

Friday, February 17, 2006

 

Feathers and Haiku

Yay! My humans have come back from Portugal! They came back smelling of Strange Foreign Kitties and Woofies, but I have decided to forgive them for this because they both said I am much more gorgeous than the other furries they met in foreign parts. My mum took some photos of the foreign furries so I might post them here just to show I am the best-looking!

I tried to convince my mum that I had been fading away in her absence, but actually Uncle Andrew and the Little People were more generous with the food than my diet-pushing mum is, so I am in good shape. I have been giving my mum lots of licks and lap-snuggles since she got back, even though she confessed that she ate loads of custard tarts in Lisbon and didn't bring me back any. She did buy me a prezzie though - it is a stick with feathers on the end just like some of my blogging friends have got. I am not quite sure what to do with it so I have been mainly staring at it in bafflement.
Now that I have got access to my computer back, I have been catching up with the cat-blogs. I like the idea of the haikus. I am a bit of a poet actually, you know. I have done three so far. Here they are:

Max bashes Buddah
While craving stinky goodness
A PsychoKitty.

Brach has a hard life
Bullied and bossed by Kukka
Sisters can be tough.

My fur is ginger
Just like Oscar and Charlie
We glow in the sun.

What do you think?

Saturday, February 11, 2006

 

Home Alone And Dreaming Of Custard

I got tagged by Princess Mia and Kukka-Maria !
Here are the rules:
1. Go into your archives.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Post the fifth sentence (or closest to it).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag five other people to do the same thing.
I haven't done 23 posts yet so I've used the fifth sentence from my first post:

I was also called Max in a previous life but more of that later.
I know lots of cats have already been tagged, so I'll just say, tagging any kitty who hasn't been tagged yet and wants to join in!

I won't be blogging for a few days but I'm looking forward to guessing the paws in Finnegan and Buddy's Paw Portraits competition before it finishes. My mum and dad are going away for a few days and leaving me to the tender cat-sitting mercies of Uncle Andrew and his Little People. I suppose it could be worse, at least I get to stay at home and not go to the Cat Colditz. My mum says I'm not allowed to use the computer while she's away. I asked if I could go with them but my mum says they're going to stay with their friends in Lisbon who have lots of woofies so I probably wouldn't like it. My dad used to work in Lisbon but they haven't been back for ages. My mum says she's looking forward to having pasteis de Belém again. I hope she brings some back for me because she says they have custard in them and I LOVE custard! (My mum says, if you want to know what they look like, do a Google Image search for pasteis de Belém.) Yummm....
It is my dad's birthday while they are away. I will give him some extra hair-licks before he leaves. Here is a picture of me relaxing with my dad - happy birthday dad!See you next Thursday when they get back.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

 

The Cats (And One Woofie) Who Came Before Me

Lots of catbloggers have been writing lately about the cats who came to their humans before they did. I asked my mum if she had any pictures of the Cats Who Came Before Me, and she found some for me. I don't mind that my mum loved some other furries before me and Hattie. She told me some stories about her other furries.

This is Tigger. He was the cat-in-charge-of-the-house when my mum was a little girl. He was a famous cat in the village where my mum lived. He was a big fluffy cat with an impressive tail - a bit like me, really, except that he was a brown tabby. He really belonged to my mum's mum (Cornish Grandma) and he liked to snuggle with her - my mum says if he deigned to sit on anyone else's lap, he acted like he was doing them a big favour. When he was a kitten he made friends with a chicken. He liked to lick yoghurt off a spoon. He bossed around the other cats and woofies in the house because he knew he was the King. He used to lie in wait for the postman and hiss at him until the postman got too scared to deliver the letters. When he was a very old kitty, he got hit by the postman's van and went to the Bridge, and everyone in the village was really sad.

This is Kerry. She arrived as a kitten when Tigger was quite old, and she would try to play with him but he soon put her in her place. She was grey with little patches of yellow fur. She was named after a Chelsea footballer. She was a very loving cat with a very loud purr. She taught Tigger to purr, which he never knew how to do before she arrived, but he copied her! My mum says she was a lovely kitty but not very clever. She kept falling off things and getting stuck in places. Once she got stuck in a chimney. She would let anyone snuggle her. She lived to be a very old kitty too and went to the Bridge sleeping peacefully on her favourite cushion.

This is Buttons. I am not sure a picture of a woofie belongs on my blog but my mum asked me to put it here. He was my mum's own woofie and I suppose, even though he was a woofie, she must have really loved him because he slept on her bed every night. They went for lots of walks together. (My mum says she was about 14 in this picture). When she went away to university she had to leave him with Cornish Grandma and she really missed him. When she came home for holidays he went crazy with excitement. He lived to be very old and did not go to the Bridge until my mum was grown up and working at her job. I suppose he was sort of cute for a woofie. My mum says he was really friendly to cats.

After Buttons went to the Bridge, my mum and dad lived in different flats in London and did not have any furries for a while. Then they moved house and they really wanted some kitties so they adopted me and Hattie! Hattie is at the Bridge now with Tigger, Kerry and Buttons. I bet they are having fun there. Meanwhile I am making sure that my mum still gets lots of furry love.


Sunday, February 05, 2006

 

Waiting For Spring


I know some of my kitty friends across the pond are up to their tails in snow, but today in London it was a much milder Sunday. My mum could go out to tidy the garden without rushing back in going "brrr!" I went outside to help her. My mum says it is not really Spring yet but I think I could sniff Spring coming! The garden still looks wintry and messy but there are lots of little green spikes sticking up everywhere which will soon be snowdrops and crocuses and daffodils and tulips. I haven't enjoyed going out while it was brrr-cold but today I had a good explore all round and even went under the big bushes and behind the shed to check that everything still smelt right. My mum says we will probably have some more brrr-cold days before Spring really comes. I'm looking forward to the day my frogs come back to the pond and I can start a new season of my favourite sport, frog-chasing!! Here's a picture of me enjoying some sunshine by my pond last April - it won't be long now until I can do this again! (...and oh, yes, I have to say sorry to my mum for the thing I did on top of her daffodils today. Sorry...)

By the way, check out the little ginger kitty in the top left corner of my blog! Oreo told me how to get him. If you click on him he chases the mouse! I had to get a ginger kitty so it would look more like me.

Thursday, February 02, 2006

 

This Woman Is Completely In My Power


I was greatly moved by the support from my kitty friends, who sent me messages following the Late Meals Outrage I suffered last weekend. I do appreciate your kind wishes. My relationship with my human servants was strained for several days, but we have now agreed to call a truce, after my female human plied me with diet-busting treats in her pathetic need to regain my love and affection. She has promised to try harder to be punctual with meals in future, so I have agreed to Say No More About It for the present.

My kitty friends would have enjoyed a little episode in my house last night. Picture the scene: My mum is standing in the living room ironing. My dad is relaxing on the sofa. I stroll into the room, having just enjoyed a sustaining snack in the kitchen...

ME: Mow. Miaow. (Sit down woman, I wish to sit on your lap).

HER: Hello, Eric.

ME: Mia-ow. Mia-ow. (Did you not hear me? I need your lap!)

HIM: What does FatBoy want?

HER: I think he wants the sofa and you're sitting on it.

ME, SITTING UNDER THE IRONING BOARD ON HER FEET: Miaow! Mow! Miaow!! (The sofa would be nice but I'm more in the mood for a lap right now!)

HIM: I'm not sitting on the floor just so that he can have the sofa.

HER: Why don't you sit on John's lap, Eric?

HIM: He never sits on my lap, he likes sitting on you.

ME: Mow! Mow! (Yes! Now you're getting the idea!)

HER: Go and sit on John's lap, Eric.

ME: Miaowwwww! (No you stupid woman, I want to sit on YOURS!)

HER: You can't have my lap right now, Eric, I'm doing the ironing.

(FIVE MINUTES LATER, AFTER I HAVE MADE MY POINT LOUDLY SEVERAL MORE TIMES...)

HIM: Oh, for heaven's sake...look, I'll finish the ironing, you sit down and get that cat to shut up.

HER: OK. (She sits down on the sofa, I immediately jump on her and make myself comfortable).

ME: Purr, purr, purr, PURR...

HER: Are you happy now, Eric?

ME: PURR, PURR, purr, purr, drool, drool, purr, drool, drool, snore, SNORE, SNORE...

(They are completely in my power).


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