Many times I have complained about the Evil Intruder Kitties in my garden, and it may be confusing for some of my friends sorting out who is who, so I thought I would do a Rogues' Gallery so that if you see any of them lurking near your garden, you will be on the alert!
You will be shocked when you see what I have to put up with...here we go!
1) Top of the list, of course, for reasons of sheer persistence - that little black pest, Marmite. He's a daily visitor, and gets everywhere - on the shed, by the pond, meowing for treats by the back door, sunbathing by the rhubarb, striking photogenic poses...he has no shame! The only revenge I can get is revealing that his own humans call him Kitty (snigger)...no wonder he wants to hang out with my humans, who have much cooler taste in names!
2) This is Skinny, also known as Skinny Ginger - my mum tried calling him Arthur but Skinny kind of stuck. He turned up at the kitchen door one day, over a year ago, wearing a blue collar and so skinny that mum could feel all his bones sticking out. My mum fed him but then he left. She thought maybe he had got lost. A few months ago he turned up again, without the collar and still really skinny. Now he visits regularly but not every day; he only turns up for breakfast about three times a week so we think he is getting fed somewhere else too, otherwise he would stick around here more. He must be part Meezer because he meezes and meezes very loudly for some of my stinky goodness and then he scoffs it down immediately. He thinks it's OK to rub all over my mum, purring, and I've even seen him out in the garden jumping on her lap when she was sitting on the steps. He tries to come in the house too if the door's open. The only good thing about him from my point of view is that he doesn't like Marmite and will chase him away if they both show up at the same time. He's the only Evil Intruder Cat who eats my stinky goodness, so he's a major threat!
3) This is Spike, our neighbour kitty. He comes in our garden a few times a week, and the humans never feed him because they know he has a great home of his own, so I wouldn't mind him so much, except that he has poor taste in friends...he likes to hang out with the black terror, Marmite. He has also been known to try to come into my kitchen. He is quite nosy. Spike is scared of Skinny.
4) This is tuxie Juliet, who lives with our neighbours on the other side. She is one of the few girl kitties in the neighbourhood. She comes in my garden several times a day but she is very shy of humans except her own, so if she sees one of my humans coming outside, she runs straight back to her own garden. However, she has been known to hang out with Skinny and a few other cats. Juliet is not her real name, but she gets called that now because Romeo is in love with her. Who's Romeo? Read on...
5) The floofy black kitty sitting under Juliet's window is Romeo, who lives several houses away with a nice man. He doesn't often come into my garden but he spends a lot of time in Juliet's garden, because he leuuurves her. He likes to sit under her window or on her front doorstep most nights. We're not sure why he loves her so much because they've both had the "-ectomy" operations which should have cooled their ardour. Romeo runs away from my humans and at least he doesn't come scrounging for food! He is a bit of a sad case really with his hopeless passion for Juliet. And he is scared of Marmite - what a wimp! 6) This is Big Tuxie. He is the strong silent type. He patrols the neighbourhood and has scars from his many fights. He runs away from my humans. He is difficult to photograph, but this was taken on a very warm day when he had let his guard down and was relaxing under a bush in my garden.
7) This is Tiny Tuxie, a recent arrival. We don't know much about him/her yet, except that he/she is quite young. Used to be very shy, but then he/she turned up here and saw Skinny nomming a plateful of my stinky goodness and since then he/she has been coming round looking hopeful.
8) This is Tuxie Three - only an occasional visitor and runs away from my humans, so I'm not too concerned about him.
9) This is Mysterious Thin Grey Tabby With Bell. Doesn't come into my garden very often but is seen hiding behind walls and fences up and down the street. Very shy and wears a very loud jingly bell, so you can always hear him/her going past - quite often being chased by the Very Mean Kitty.
10) We don't have a picture of the Very Mean Kitty but he is Bad News. He is floofy and dark brown with a big strange faded yellow patch on one side and lots of scars from fighting. He terrorises cats far and wide but luckily he has only been in my garden about twice. One time he cornered Juliet behind the shed and my mum had to rescue her by chasing him away. Another time Romeo had to go to the v-e-t because he got beaten up by the Very Mean Kitty. He is a Very Mean Kitty and should be avoided at all costs.
Phew! No wonder I am exhausted from monitoring the Evil Intruder Kitty situation! Now you know who is who, please help me keep an eye on them!