Sunday, December 02, 2007
New Way To Wake Up Humans
Today was Sunday. Unfortunately, on Sundays my breakfast is normally later than normal, owing to the extreme difficulty I have getting my humans out of bed on a Sunday morning. However, this morning I hit on a brilliant new plan. This is what you need to do:
1. Jump on bed, meow at humans, watch as they ignore you and slumber on.
2. Sit on pillows, lick their hair, watch as they ignore you and slumber on.
3. Get into bed between them and snuggle up under duvet.
4. Start making loud, horrible retching noises to imply "I'm just about to throw up a hairball - IN THE BED!!!
5. Watch as your humans magically awake instantly and leap out of bed with cries of horror and disgust.
6. Put up with being snatched off the bed by your dad and carried hastily into the bathroom.
7. Throw up teeny, tiny hairball in bathroom.
8. Watch humans give up on sleeping and head downstairs to make coffee.
9. Prance downstairs and Meow Very Loudly For Breakfast.
10. Eat breakfast.
Now all I need to do is to accomplish this in less than 10 steps...
P.S. I won a prize in Opus & Roscoe's Great Raffle Giveaway! I am very excited about this.
# posted by Fat Eric @ 10:51 pm 
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Eric, skip steps 1-3 and go immediately to the retching. That will help you get your Sunday breakfast. Mum forgot mine too today. She got up and went out to move the snow around. Not until she finished did she go into the kitchen and notice my empty bowl. She apologized but that doesn't help my tummy.
Concatulations on being a winner.
Concatulations on being a winner.
Congrats on your win Eric. I am pleased about mine as well.
I am laughing at how you get your humans up. I should also suggest, walking on them and then licking your privates LOUDLY near their head can also be helpful...
C.
I am laughing at how you get your humans up. I should also suggest, walking on them and then licking your privates LOUDLY near their head can also be helpful...
C.
Those are all excellent waking techniques, Eric. You might also try climbing the mini-blinds near the head of your humans' bed. It makes a terrifically irritating noise that wakes them better than a loud alarm clock! And if all else fails, I find that a quick bitey does the job!
Rocky
Rocky
I haven't tried the hairball tactic yet Eric! They have a waterbed & I pounce with a huge Splash occuring then meow loudly by their heads.
Retching is actually Scoobys forte so maybe I'll have to have a talk with him.
Retching is actually Scoobys forte so maybe I'll have to have a talk with him.
Good work Eric. I don't have that problem though, cuz mum gits up early to feed the horses and turn them out efurryday. I lie right in the middle of the kitchen floor though to make sure she feeds me furrst.
(Big)Eric
(Big)Eric
Oh, Beezer, I can do it in less than 10 steps. I jump off the bed, then jump back on and land on daddy's privates. He jumps up like a shot and then gets out of bed to go to the bathroom. Works every time.
Roxy
Roxy
Oh that really would work! We're going to have to try that one next weekend (we have the same trouble with poor breakfast service on weekends).
Hello! I see you won the prize my momma made! We hope you will injoy it. It has taken alot of will power, and momma pushing me off her lap, to keep me from testing out your new snuggle. :) ~Queen Snickers
A belated congratulations on your 200th post.I like your breakfast technique. Coughing works well with my mommy.She thinks something is wrong and jumps up like a shot.
Then I get cuddled and fed.
Then I get cuddled and fed.
As a bean, I can confirm that these tactics work well! To shorten the procedure, you could first walk heavily across their bladders (they will probably be full and it will be difficult for them to ignore this) then, if they are still reluctant to get up, go straight to #4:) xxx
Oh Eric, you're a genius! Thank you so much for sharing your well thought out plan. I've been trying to get my mom out of bed earlier on the weekends for ages with no luck. A hairball release in bed is a very smart idea. I don't know though, my mom is pretty lazy. After carrying me to the bathroom she probably would go back to bed. She's a determined sleeper that's for sure.
Thanks a lot friend!
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Thanks a lot friend!
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