I do not feel good today.
Look away now if you are revolted by yucky details.
Last night my tummy hurt and I went and did very runny poops in my litter box. Then again this morning. I got runny poop all over my floofy rear end and I couldn't clean it off so when my mum got up this morning I was very stinky. I had...err...tried to wipe my rear end on the floor in quite a few places which she had to clean up and it wasn't very nice. Then she cornered me and tried to wash my rear end and I resisted and it was all very messy. She put me out in the garden to wait until my rear end dried off (it was sunny for a change) but later I was still wet and stinky, and then she noticed some blood, which freaked her out.
I kept trying to wash my rear end but I just couldn't seem to do it, and I didn't feel good either so I went and lay down quietly.
The next thing I woke out of a doze to find myself being put in the Evil Cat Carrier, but I wasn't feeling good so I didn't put up my usual fight. Then I was put in the car and taken to the v-e-t.
I didn't see my usual v-e-t (apparently he has taken 2 weeks off work in order to watch the Olympics!!) so it was a locum. He squeezed me all over and poked me and prodded me and listened to my heart and then did something very rude with a thermometer and said my temperature was normal, which is good. Then he stuck his finger somewhere he really shouldn't have done and said my anal glands needed squeezing, which he did - not fun! Then he said I had gastro-enteritis and needed to have some medicine. He said I might have eaten something bad in the garden or even possibly caught a stomach bug from another cat while I was staying at the kitty jail recently. He gave me two injections - he said one would sting but I didn't squeak or flinch at all because I am a Brave Mancat.
Then he got out some clippers and shaved a lot of hair off my floofy rear end and shaved a big strip of my floofy tail. I look ridiculous! I refuse to show photos of this disfigurement! I was Very Very Good while he was doing this, I did not like him playing around with my rear end At All but I kept (fairly) still on the table and just gave little sad "mews" while my mum stroked my head. The v-e-t said I was one of the best behaved cats he had ever met, but I was just trying to get it over with!
Then I was weighed. I have lost some more weight. The last time I went to the v-e-t (back in December) I weighed 8.8 kg (19.4 lb). Now I weigh 8.2 kg (18 lb). This is the least I have ever weighed since I came to live with my humans (I was 9.5 kg or 21 lb five years ago).
After that the v-e-t put the Evil Cat Carrier back on the table and I RAN into it, mewing "Take me home!"
The v-e-t said my humans could give me no food, only water, for the rest of the day, and then only boiled chicken and water for two days to see if my stomach felt better. And I have to go back to the v-e-t TOMORROW - AGAIN. Oh no!
My humans were all stressed and worried about me, and I wasn't feeling good either, but one fun thing did happen. When we went back to the waiting room there was a lady there with her new kitten and guess what? It was a little girl kitten, 10 weeks old, which looked exactly like a Mini-Me! She was floofy and ginger and white like me and even had a beauty spot almost like mine! She had been rescued after being left in a box on a doorstep. The lady with the kitten said, "Oh my goodness, that cat looks just like my kitten, he could be her dad!" But my humans said they didn't think so because I had my hoo-haectomy many years ago. I wonder if we are related though?
Apart from meeting my Mini-Me the visit to the v-e-t was not fun at all. I am home now and all evening I have been camped out by my empty food bowl going "Feed me, feed me!" and my humans have been going "Sorry Eric, the v-e-t said you should not eat until tomorrow." So they are starving me AND taking me to the v-e-t again tomorrow, I don't think they love me any more!
Honestly, I am still a bit stinky and my shaved rear end looks stupid and I am hungry and I wish I had never had runny poop. This week just keeps getting worse.
Please send purrs for a quick recovery and a better visit to the v-e-t tomorrow.